Hanging by a thread .....

In the morning , the first thing I do is go out of my back door usually in my Marks and Spark's fluffy (off ) white dressing gown , across the terrace , under the archway of the stable yard and give the horses their breakfast . As it is a gravel pathway, they hear my footsteps crunch , so before I'm even halfway to the yard , the imperious whinny of Abbey , my first and oldest pony is directing me to her stable Immediately , claiming by right of being Senior Equine, to have her muesli before anyone else . The others always join in after . Bo , Zac's pony , has a very high pitched 'Wheeeeeeee! ' at me , knowing that she's second in line to be fed , mainly as she's next door to Abs. . Lastly , there's always the deep grumble of Remus , my dressage horse with delusions of royalty . As he has a crown and a wave branded on his rump , he feels thoroughly entitled to staff , and only tends to get up just as the breakfast is being brought to his door. More than once , he's eaten it still laying down .

But not today . Today , I get the first yell from Abbey , the second 'Wheeeee !' from Bo , but nothing from Remus . Not only is there no head over the door , but not a sound . This is not a good scenario .

Ignoring the other two , still clad in the fetching white fluffy number ( and suede slippers !) I go to his door , and look over , to find Remus dangling from his haynet by a front hoof . Somehow , between 11pm last night , and 7.30am today , he has decided to wave a front leg in the air , and managed to get it suspended in the strings of his haynet . Not only that , but the breakable string it was tied to , that is designed to break in just such emergencies , has not in fact broken, so I now have a ton of Danish Warmblood hanging by a thread , and looking at me as if to say 'Ooops ' , whilst balanced on the remaining three legs .

Had I been in normal yard attire , I would have had my pocket knife in my jacket , but noooo of course not in my pyjamas. To make matters worse, now he's seen me, he's decided to panic , and try to hop over for some reasurrance , which leads to him using the timber stable wall to take his weight, and which starts bowing out in an alarming fashion . Thinking that there's going to be Danish all over the yard any second , I holler to Ian to get me a kitchen knife , which , bless him , he immediately does , no questions asked , and I slice through the net , releasing his leg to the ground . The string has cut into his hoof , so I call the vet as he is also now horribly lame . Of course , now he's also starving , so I get barged aside in the rush for his breakfast , and decide to get dressed . The slippers are ruined , and the white gown is now splattered with goodness only knows what ..

The vet arrives half an hour later , and pronounces him a lucky boy . As he has very narrow feet , the nylon string had found a crevice in which to wedge itself and caused only minor friction injury . Had he had normal wide feet like most , he probably would have sawn part of his foot off . Two jabs later ( tetanus and his annual flu one which was due anyway , might as well try and save money , hahahahaha ) the vet leaves , telling Remus to be more careful . He grumbles under his breath , flicks an ear in a disdainful fashion , and goes back to his hay , which is now in a pile on the floor .

All I have to do now is await the bill !